Fake Sound of Progress
The heavy snow arrived a day (or two) too late in Cambridge. If not, it would have been my first ever white Christmas. I woke up this morning and to my pleasure, the snow settled from last night. Everything looked charming from my bedroom window. I live on the second floor in Tina s humble abode and I am able to overlook mine and everyone else s backyard. *laughs. I have witnessed some very unattractive private moments of thy neighbours.
Things are back in full operation here after three days of Christmas break. I needed to step up my concentration in my academic work so I hopped on to the bus en route to the City Centre Library. Comrade Ting was already there, unsurprisingly. *grins.
I have always been one to separate my school assignments from things that I find pleasure in. For some reason, I have no significant feelings towards my studies with the exception of satisfaction after getting tasks over and done with and the anticipation of awaiting examination marks. My technique is doing all that I have to do to obtain the best results possible whether I like it or not. I found it much easier to deal with the never-ending responsibilities that we have as students that way.
I do not fret about the level of difficulty although it worries me; I avoid coming up with excuses to cover up abysmal test scores and I do not feel the common parental pressures. All simply because I act indifferently towards the whole issue and merely accept the challenge as it is. My motivation is dependant on positive peer pressure and the satisfying sense of accomplishment.
The downfall is, at this point in my life, I have to settle on a plan of action to determine my future survival. With my routine of studying, dancing, concerts, exams and dinner every Friday night, I have yet to discover a discipline that I am passionate about. I am faithful in the capabilities that I have to ensure myself a professional job but will I experience gratification in that? Or will it just be a means to an end?
I have already decided on my university courses. That has been made permanent in October. The basis of it though; not the reason in my opinion, ought to be. Nevertheless, I would like to think that some time in my scholastic endeavors; I will find fulfillment and contentment. God forbid I continue on without any joys in studying.
( a l y a a ) @ Wednesday, December 28, 2005 / 7:41 pm /
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