Seribu ImpianAmbition baby. Sometimes I think I am so full of it that I realize I hardly ever achieve anything. I have high expectations of myself, that leading onto what I want from others and of course me reacting in ways
I see appropriate.
DECLARATION : I should just play by my strengths and stop trying to be so up there. ("there" being identical to a set of circumstances you very much yearn for, came close but never got to latch on to it; I'm talking about academic aspirations & goals NOT being in love etc. My apologies for disenchanting you with some thing that I centre my life around).
It is not so much the position itself I reckon but the respect and credibility that comes with it. I fight hard, but never hard enough because it is not what I indeed desire. It becomes doubly difficult when you do not have the emotional support from your peers and you are constantly in the presence of envy instead. Ugh, those evil little things.
Regardless, me being Alyaa,
Fara Alyaa, I go for it anyway. For a long while prior to my arrival here and possibly even now, it has always been to prove, prove, prove, prove. I'm guilty of always thinking that I would be thought less of because of what I do not attain. Yet, no part of me has the slightest intention to change.
I often wonder what it is that people exert themselves for. Whether you realize it, or even whether you like it or not, I think most of us (except those who are ignorant, criminals and just plain ol' resentful) are out there to make a name for ourselves. Be second to none at what we are going to do for a living. But hey, maybe that's just me.
- F.A.B Azmin
PS: I am having a mid-week break tomorrow. If there was such a thing. Okay okay, I am taking a day off school to visit Warwick.
I got soaked to the skin cycling in the cold today because it was raining heavily. I could barely open my eyes on my way home because it was
pouring.*Sigh.
( a l y a a ) @ Tuesday, March 07, 2006 / 8:44 pm /