Our work is never over
Whenever you get to a point where you're tired to even make/buy yourself something to eat, you know you're worn out. I wouldn't go as far as to say exhausted but I am tired nonetheless. I just have to keep reminding myself what exactly is in it for me. I've always been one to enjoy performing but as of late, my confidence levels have reached a new low. I suppose all of us dip to an infinity of inferiority at some point in our life, even at things that we thought we excelled in. Long hours of rehearsals. Dear oh dear.
Sometimes I wonder how everything and nothing happens at once. And since when does Alyaa divulge details of her personal relationships to people very new to her? It has become a habit as of late. It could be in search of solution and opinion. It could be just testing waters. It could also be venting. I mean, what is the point of keeping everything to yourself when you can share (mostly misery and bitchiness, you know it!) with others.
The lesson this past week has been pointing in the direction of letting go. But how come it all goes away, when the person is standing right in front of you? Does mind-will-power (as opposed to emotional will-power) have no value at all?
I don't want to chill. I'm sick of being in between.
( a l y a a ) @ Monday, January 29, 2007 / 1:03 am /